Letter to John and Linda

Joan Boney

John is in his early 70's and has had serious heart operation and after long hospital stay, he returned home and when he tried to climb some stairs had problem and they took him back to hospital and did a bunch of tests on him and told him he probably overdid by trying to climb the stairs and to take it easy.

Here is the letter I wrote to John and his wife.

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I want to share a few things with you from my accident (in October 2010) and subsequent recovery ... I'm not saying these apply to you but I suspect they do.  I know I am very strongly led to write this to you.

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After operation they put me in a rehab hospital and physical therapist tried to do therapy exercises with me Monday through Friday for about 10 minutes per day ... I did as little as possible and he knew he would get very little from me.

I just didn't believe it would do any good.

At one point therapist said:  "I need to warn you when you go home don't over do ..."  Then he stopped and said, "I probably don't need to warn you about this."  (He was right!)

He said most people think they need to exercise til it hurts,  to do any good and he said the opposite is true.  They need to beware of overdoing.

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Being a woman maybe it is easier for me but I've never had any problem with this.

I do not expect to be like I was before the accident and really I don't care.

I don't need to leave my house and I even have to force myself outside. I don't want to go anywhere.  I don't want to leave my house. (although I can drive and walk some)

I have a room upstairs but didn't try to climb stairs for about 2 years after the accident, and then I only climbed when absolutely necessary ... now I'm into 5th year and have improved but not because of anything at all that I have done ... I've done nothing that I didn't absolutely have to do.

I don't move  unless I have to do so although now I can walk even without cane unless steps are involved such as going to mail box.

Mostly I never try to move ... but I can move now.  I just got better without any effort.  I let the improvement come without exercise of any kind.

I didn't know if I would live or die and I didn't care.  God would work it out however HE wanted and it was fine with me.

That sounds strange and is just exactly opposite from what humans think.

I thought I should share that with you.

Not really a big deal to me for these bodies are not going to go with us ... controlling pain is helpful.  I do that mostly with heating pad, " Freeze it" roll on, and Aleve over the counter pain tablets. 

I have a doctor because I want sleeping pills and must have prescription to get such.  I don't tell him anything about pain or anything else that is happening to me, and I never let him do blood tests on me for he will be trying to find things wrong with me.  (I know this is all very different and I'm not suggesting you do this but it works for me.)

I am suggesting that you stop trying to get well ... stop trying to improve ... just relax and accept everything and don't exercise, don't push yourself thinking you can get stronger.  (Again sounds strange but we must remember we are old ... I'm 78)

I do very well ... I do have pain daily ... I sleep with heating pad. I take Ambium (sleeping pill) every night.  I'd rather take Ambium than pain medicine.  Sometimes I have to sleep in chair in more upright position most of the night because of pain ...but that's OK ...

I love having handicap license plate ... I take cane in when I go to grocery.  I love it because they think I am old and helpless for then they cut me some slack ... I don't have to look good nor dress well nor put on make up ... It is really the best time of my life... most people just think I'm a rather helpless old woman who is valueless ... that suits me too... everything slows down around me ... people carry things to my car for me ... no one expects me to move fast ... yet my brain is good, especially in scripture ... sometimes I forget secular names but I don't care if I forget that.  But the Holy Spirit in me is not old nor slow ... everything is great!