Thursday, November 20, 2014

Wanting to be important or wanting to feel you are important

Joan Boney ... apostle/prophet

As I have grown older, I have become much less important in my own eyes.  There was a time I was so important that I thought my parents to be silly in some of the things they chose to watch on TV.  As I have grown in years and experience with God, I realize I am more like my parents now.  I realize that I don't have to make every minute count as I once did.  I don't have to accomplish long lists of things daily to have a good day.  It is just the opposite now.  And as I have grown less important in my own eyes, my parents make much more sense to me than they did 30 years back!

I've become much more comfortable with my life.  While I spent most of my life having to accomplish things daily, now I am grateful for the days when I have nothing scheduled at all.  Sometimes there will be 3 or 4 weeks when I have nothing at all on my calender.  It is wonderful!

Now I just get up when I choose to get up and sit and drink coffee and talk to God, read blog, read Bible, report things if God shows me something. Go to bed when I choose to go to bed.  I don't like to schedule things and only do this when it is necessary.

And as I have become less important and read the book of Revelation, I realize how very short I fall in really knowing how to worship God and how to exalt God.

A few days ago, I was reading one of the chapters of Revelation and I became afraid.  The multitude was gathered around the throne of God worshiping God ... I wondered if I would know how to do this?  I wondered if I would fit in.  It frightened me so I prayed.  I felt God was showing me I would be OK but HE didn't tell me how I would be OK in this.

One thing I do see is that we become less important in our own eyes.

When my mother was in her 70's, I would visit her and often a woman named Mrs. Dunn would call and mother would talk with her on phone.  Sometimes I would hear my mother talking and then there would be long periods where my mother was not talking but was still holding phone to her ear,  One day, during a period of such silence, my mother said, "I think Mrs. Dunn is taking a nap."  My mother would just hold the phone to her ear until Mrs. Dunn talked again.

One time Mrs. Dunn lost her bank.  She just couldn't remember the name of her bank.  My mother drove her all over the town going from one bank to another.  They would drive up to teller window and ask, "Is this Mrs. Dunn's bank?"  Finally they found her bank.

I never heard my mother complain about doing these things nor did I hear her scoff at Mrs. Dunn.  I don't think my mother considered herself to be too important.

A couple of times before Mrs. Dunn died she called my mother and invited her to come hear the men who were singing in her attic.  Mrs. Dunn said they were more wonderful than any singers she had ever heard before.  I always rejoiced at this story for I think those "men" singing in Mrs. Dunn's attic were angels.

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