Pam Padgett - teacher
A few days ago I entered into strife with the company that
provides my internet, telephone, and cable services. This strife
greatly affected me and strongly showed how dangerous strife can
be.
About six weeks ago there had been a problem with my internet, telephone, and cable services and a
technician ran a bright orange temporary
line from my house, across part of my back yard, and to a connection box. He also made
an appointment for a permanent line to be installed and buried in about three weeks.
I had a little fear and concern that the dogs may be attracted to the
bright orange line and that they would chew through it and be harmed (that they would be harmed is probably an unfounded fear). My internet/telephone/cable could also go out if the line was chewed and damaged. But we had snow that kept the line
pretty covered so this didn't seem like a big problem, and I failed to pray about my fears. When the snow melted a little I tried to keep the dogs
in another area as much as possible and to watch them when
they were in the area where the line was.
Then a few days before the
line was to be buried, someone came to mark where underline utilities
are, using paint and plastic flags on wires, in preparation for the line to be buried. When I saw the
flags, I pulled them up to keep them from the dogs. But I missed
one and the dogs ate the flag and were playing with the wire in such a
way they could be injured (I was glad to get it away
from them before they were injured.)
I was looking forward to the line being buried so I wouldn't need to
deal any more with any of these things. But on the scheduled day,
no one came.
I called and was told the earliest the work could be rescheduled was in
three more weeks. During this time I continued trying to make sure the
dogs didn't chew on the bright orange line. The line was now
more exposed as the weather was warming and the snow melted, so my fear was increasing. And, again, the dogs got hold of one of the flags when
the utilities were marked, which also scared me.
Again, no one came on the second schedule day, which was a few
days ago. This was very frustrating and my fears grew as well.
But instead of stopping and turning to God with the fears and frustration and asking HIM to calm and lead me in what to do, the following day I allowed my flesh to rise up in strife, determined to get the situation resolved.
I called the company saying I needed the line to be buried as soon as
possible and why. I was told the next available day this could be done was
yet another month away. When I insisted it needed to be done sooner, I
started being transferred to various people. Each person I spoke with
gave different reasons why this couldn't be done sooner. It seemed
they were just making up things to try to appease me, and I started striving even more. Finally, one man said they would send someone either that day or the next morning
and would call me within an hour to let me know the exact time. (No one
called).
All of this strife greatly affected me, even more
than I realized. After I thought I had calmed down I tried to read a
message I had previously written for the next day's blog. I found that I couldn't read the writing. It seemed to make no sense.
I thought there was something wrong with the message and that it should
probably be deleted, but wasn't sure. I was very shaken that the
message seemed to make no sense at all and stepped away and asked God to
show me what to do.
Not long after this Joan called and said she had read that message and
noticed a couple of places I had not included references to scriptures
mentioned in the writing. I told her I was probably going to delete
that writing. She was surprised saying what she had read of the message seemed fine and asked me why I might delete it. I told her when I
had tried to review it, I hadn't been able to even read it. After we
talked a little, I remembered the strife I had entered into on the phone earlier in the day. This strife had terribly affected me to the point that I couldn't even read this message.
The message wasn't the problem ... I was the problem as I was affected by the strife I had entered into. I asked God to please help me.
The following morning the phone rang and caller ID showed it was from this company. I asked God to help me as I picked up the phone. The woman said they would let me know
in 3-4 days when they could schedule someone to bury the line. There
was still the urge in me to strive, but I was helped to keep my flesh under
control and don't think I strived with her.
A little later I saw Psalm 62 printed on the blog and the following stood out to me ...
Psalm 62:5 My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.
I had to set my expectation for help in God, not the cable company which is just a worldly business. I asked God to work out this
problem as HE knows is best for me, to take care of what needed to
be done. As I prayed I realized I knew what I want (to have the line
buried quickly), but God knows what is really needed. I committed
the entire situation to God.
Amazingly, that afternoon a man came to bury the line! The woman from the cable company had told me just a
few hours earlier that they would let me know in 3-4 days
when this could be scheduled. Yet here the man was to do the work. After praying and committing the matter
to God, it was taken care of the same day.
Even after committing the matter to God, however, I was still affected
by the strife of the previous day and I spoke in a puffed up way a couple of times during a phone call with Joan, trying to show myself to be "right" and "wise". I prayed asking God for help in getting rid of this strife and to help me keep my flesh under control.
I have also been reminded of what James taught ...
James 3:13-18 Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge
among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works
with meekness of wisdom.
If we are to walk in wisdom while dealing with a matter,
we need to humble ourselves before God and ask God for HIS wisdom in that
matter, and then go in the way we are shown.
14 But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts,
glory not, and lie not against the truth. 15 This wisdom
descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual,
devilish. 16 For where envying and strife is, there is
confusion and every evil work.
Entering into strife can seem so "wise" and
justified. But this "wisdom" is not from God. It is of the flesh and
devil. It puffs us up and leads in ways of evil, not in ways of God.
confusion - the state of being bewildered or unclear in one's mind about something.
This is exactly the state I was in after striving with the cable company
people on the telephone ... unable to even read a message.
17 But the wisdom that is from above (from God) is first pure, then
peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy
and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.
18 And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them
that make peace.
I am so sorry to have entered into this sin of strife and have repented.