💥 Paralyzed by fear.

(Comments by Joan Boney)

Last night I was stricken with terrible fears.  Immediately I began crying out to God for help!

I had no peace at all and I didn't know what to do.

I asked God to give me wisdom concerning the problem I was going through.

I didn't seem to hear anything at all from God.  There was no word that gave me God's peace or direction.

But I just kept continually crying out, "God ... please help me."

And I often thanked God:  for my salvation; for the wisdom HE has given me in times past; for Jesus and the Holy Spirit; for the place I now live in Colorado; for Pam Padgett the member of the body of Christ with whom I live now.

The great fear continued!

God will not fail us nor forsake us.  (Joshua 1:8-9 & Hebrews 13:5)  I know this is true.  I was sure God was hearing my cries.  (It didn't seem like it but I was certain HE was hearing me.)

At one point I tried distracting my mind by TV.  I found no TV show I could watch, because the fear was so great.

The fear continued uninterrupted and I cried out to God continually during the time of the attack which must have lasted about 3 hours.  (It started at approximately 10 PM.)

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I know God has not given us the spirit of fear.

I began saying this aloud, over and over:  

"God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind".  (2 Tim. 1:7)

 (As I said this scripture over and over, it helped me some ... but still I didn't have peace nor information from God as needed.)

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I had taken my nightly dose of prescribed Ambium  (sleep aid) at 9:30 pm.

At 1:00 a.m. I was still fighting the fears.

I was considering what else I might take to help me:  perhaps an aspirin?

Then the thought came to cut a small piece of a lesser dosage of ambium and take that.  By then it was 1 am.

I cut off a very small piece of an Ambium 10 and took that.

I got into bed and continued in prayer, asking God for help and thanking God.  Within about 3 minutes I had fallen asleep and slept soundly until 10:00 a.m. when I awakened knowing exactly what to do concerning the problem with which I was dealing.  I'm certain God planted these instructions in my heart and mind as I was sleeping!

All fear had vanished and I was rejoicing over that which I knew God told me to do.  (This is what always happens when God gives me the answer to a problem.)

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The problems:

On Monday, October 3, Pam Padgett received test results showing she has a "high grade" aggressive type cancer.  Doctor said 4 chemotherapy treatments must begin immediately. Followed by surgery in Denver to remove the bladder and use part of intestines to rebuild a bladder.  Three days in hospital in Denver.  (We live in Colorado Springs, approximately 50 miles south of Denver and I cannot drive.)

After the 3 days in hospital, Pam would return home for 6-8 week recovery.

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The main problem as I see it:  I cannot drive.  I am only able to walk a few steps with walker.  I am almost 85-years-old.  I can't cook food.  I can't take care of the animals: dogs and cats.  I use porta-potty which is in my bedroom and has to be changed daily. 

Basically I can do nothing at all except write exhortations for the blog daily and record Podcasts.

***

How can we get Pam home to Colorado Spings from hospital in Denver?

Here is the plan which I awoke with on the morning after all the fear struck. 

💥  Have doctor write prescription to have Pam transported home after surgery by ambulance.  (cost should be covered by Medicare and supplemental insurance with doctor's prescription.)

Ambulance workers will be able to transport Pam into the house and place her in bed or chair-lift recliner. 

The 50 mile ride in ambulance should be more comfortable for Pam than sitting up in car seat. 

💥  Have doctor prescribe registered nurse to be on duty for first 24-hour period at home. (This puts a medically trained person in change at home.)

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💥  Second day: replace registered nurse with 24-hour skilled nurse from Home Health Care for 3-5 days.

💥  After first week:  switch to non-skilled worker from Home Health Care: (daily from 1-5) to prepare meals; render assistance to Pam in shower and toilet as needed; feed animals; walk dogs; change litter boxes and empty porta-potty from my room; laundry and house cleaning.

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We have several things that we had already planned to do before hearing above plan from God.

* Rent hospital bed to be used in fireplace area downstairs:  (This room is adjacent to my bedroom and would allow me to check on Pam from time to time, especially at night.)

*  Mattress replacement in Pam's bedroom and upstairs guest room:  (We will begin looking at mattresses tomorrow and will purchase as soon as Pam finds what she wants to use.)

* Rent or purchase "lift-chair" recliner.  (I found it critical to have a lift chair after I returned from hospital after surgery.  Often I would sleep in the lift-chair instead of the bed because of pain.  Also it provided critical assistance that I needed when trying to get to the porta-potty)

Concerning "lift-chair":  I found the upholstery to be a problem.  (Unknown to me at that time I also had "shingles".  Fabrics caused pain to my skin.  So we had to put a silk sheet over the fabric.  It is probably better to try to get a lift-chair with a smooth soft cotton type fabric if you can find such.)

As a result of my numerous experiences with broken bones, surgery, and hospital stays, I wrote a book which is published on Amazon and is entitled, "HANDICAP HELPS".   (Published in e-book and paperback:  Order as needed from Amazon by clicking here:  Handicap Helps book)

I found many helpful items to use when returning from hospital.  These are pictured in this book.

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In all things, we have been helped by God in preparing for this situation.

Philippians 4:6-7  Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

God is faithful to us who believe in HIM to help us in all things.

God will not fail us nor forsake us.  (Joshua 1:8-9 & Hebrews 13:5)

God promises this to us!

We must hold fast even when there is no evidence that God hears us.

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