Many of us want to copy other people rather than turning to God. The flesh and blood human is tangible ... we can see and hear that person. Of course that person might be wrong.
God is a Spirit ... but HE can speak to us by giving us thoughts, reminding us of scripture or an example, leading us by the Holy Spirit who dwells in us the believer, or by giving us a dream.
Ephesians 1:13-14 In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise,
Which is the earnest of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the praise of His glory.
John 14:26 But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in MY name, He shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.
John 16:13 Howbeit when He, the Spirit of truth, is come, He will guide you into all truth: for He shall not speak of Himself; but whatsoever He shall hear (from God), that shall He speak: and He will shew you things to come.
*****
When God spoke to me telling me HE had called me and set me in the body of Christ as an apostle ... I was shocked and yelled out aloud, "Apostle ... what's an apostle."
I didn't tell anyone God had told me this at the time it happened. (approximately 1978)
I had no example of apostle except in Bible.
I asked the teacher of our Bible class at the church I attended at that time, "Who are the apostles at our church?" They, that church, said they believed there are apostles in the NT church today.
After Jesus arose, HE gave gifts to the church for the work of the ministry: Ephesians 4:11-12 And HE (Jesus) gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ:
So who are the apostles at church? I asked?
He, our teacher, said, "I don't know."
Then I asked: "What do the NT apostles do?"
He replied: "I don't know."
If I could have found an apostle at our church group, I'm sure I would have watched that person.
But since I couldn't find one, I said to God, "YOU are going to have to teach me." HE did.
But since I couldn't find one, I said to God, "YOU are going to have to teach me." HE did.
God took me to Acts 15, where the apostle James issued a doctrinal ruling when disagreement arose over whether or not the Gentiles had to be circumcised in order to be saved.
By these scriptures and by subsequent leading from God, I saw what God expected me to do.
It is probably a good thing I couldn't find anyone to copy for I might have copied that person.
*****
Yesterday God took me to the story of Cain and Abel ... I read it again from both Hebrews 11 and Genesis 4.
The difference between their "offerings" was Abel gave by faith, from His heart. Cain tried to do something to impress God.
God had respect to Abel's offering ... but rejected the offering of Cain.
Cain was very upset over this rejection.
Genesis 4:5-7 And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell.
And the LORD said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen?
If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door.
Then God took me to the story of Jacob and Esau.
Esau had married a woman who deeply grieved Rebekah.
Genesis 27:46 And Rebekah said to Isaac, I am weary of my life because of the daughters of Heth: if Jacob take a wife of the daughters of Heth, such as these which are of the daughters of the land, what good shall my life do me?
So Isaac told Jacob not to marry the daughters of the land but to go to the house of Rebekah and marry one of the daughters of Laban.
But Esau heard this and knew his wife did not please his mother and dad ... So Esau decided to copy Jacob as much as he could figure out how to do.
Genesis 28 And Esau seeing that the daughters of Canaan pleased not Isaac his father; Then went Esau unto Ishmael, and took unto the wives which he had Mahalath the daughter of Ishmael Abraham's son, the sister of Nebajoth, to be his wife.
Foolish choice ... Ishmael had been cast out by Abraham because God told Abraham to cast out the son of the bondwoman. He would not rule with the son of the promise (Isaac).
The main thing God showed me is this: If you try to copy someone in order to gain favor, you shame yourself by your own action.
And God reminded me of Barbara Preston and Sandra Chupik. (from our little church group)
Barbara read a humorous story I had written and responded her approval immediately by sending 3 TEXAS flags on an email. I laughed. (Texas flags mean something to me.)
When Sandra saw what Barbara did, she sent an approval with 7 footballs.
I was deeply grieved when I saw what Sandra did. I deleted her email very fast. I knew she was copying Barbara for approval.
If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door.
*****
Then God took me to the story of Jacob and Esau.
Esau had married a woman who deeply grieved Rebekah.
Genesis 27:46 And Rebekah said to Isaac, I am weary of my life because of the daughters of Heth: if Jacob take a wife of the daughters of Heth, such as these which are of the daughters of the land, what good shall my life do me?
So Isaac told Jacob not to marry the daughters of the land but to go to the house of Rebekah and marry one of the daughters of Laban.
But Esau heard this and knew his wife did not please his mother and dad ... So Esau decided to copy Jacob as much as he could figure out how to do.
Genesis 28 And Esau seeing that the daughters of Canaan pleased not Isaac his father; Then went Esau unto Ishmael, and took unto the wives which he had Mahalath the daughter of Ishmael Abraham's son, the sister of Nebajoth, to be his wife.
Foolish choice ... Ishmael had been cast out by Abraham because God told Abraham to cast out the son of the bondwoman. He would not rule with the son of the promise (Isaac).
The main thing God showed me is this: If you try to copy someone in order to gain favor, you shame yourself by your own action.
And God reminded me of Barbara Preston and Sandra Chupik. (from our little church group)
Barbara read a humorous story I had written and responded her approval immediately by sending 3 TEXAS flags on an email. I laughed. (Texas flags mean something to me.)
When Sandra saw what Barbara did, she sent an approval with 7 footballs.
I was deeply grieved when I saw what Sandra did. I deleted her email very fast. I knew she was copying Barbara for approval.
I also felt she was trying to outdo Barbara by sending a rating of 7 footballs. (Why footballs? Sandra knows I like football.)
And she is going to give my story an even higher rating than Barbara.
What Sandra did was evil. And it made no sense at all ... We are accustomed to 5 star ratings on books, on the best hotels ... but 7 has no meaning.
Sandra was going to be clever and outdo Barbara.
I knew God was showing me Sandra was like Cain & Esau.
I called Sandra around 5 pm yesterday to confirm what I thought was right.
I asked her why she sent those 7 footballs ... She said she was trying to be clever.
I asked her why "7" footballs ... Was it because Barbara sent "3" flags ? To outdo Barbara...
Sandra was going to be clever and outdo Barbara.
I knew God was showing me Sandra was like Cain & Esau.
I called Sandra around 5 pm yesterday to confirm what I thought was right.
I asked her why she sent those 7 footballs ... She said she was trying to be clever.
I asked her why "7" footballs ... Was it because Barbara sent "3" flags ? To outdo Barbara...
Sandra thought about it and said, "Probably."
Through this, I saw the very serious problem that comes when we try to copy another person rather than speaking by faith from our own heart.
Through this, I saw the very serious problem that comes when we try to copy another person rather than speaking by faith from our own heart.
*****
I was reminded of that written in Jude ... some people who did not have the Spirit tried to copy (mock) those who have the Spirit so they would appear to be of God, and people in the congregation would praise them for their cleverness.
(Please know I'm not saying Sandra doesn't have the Spirit of God.)
But Sandra did a great evil ... she wanted to be clever and she wanted to outdo another person and exalt herself. And she brought shame to herself.
Any time we try to copy another person we should be warned. This is not the way of God. Instead we need to trust God to get us there. Then we will be genuine when we do what is honestly from the feeling in our heart. And our action will be by faith.
There is another thing: Two or three weeks before this, I had brought 3 corrections to Sandra. I had not thought about this at all until yesterday when I was reminded of Cain and Esau.
Before I called Sandra, I talked with Pam, asking her if Sandra ever responded to those 3 corrections ... I couldn't recall a response from Sandra.
(Please know I'm not saying Sandra doesn't have the Spirit of God.)
But Sandra did a great evil ... she wanted to be clever and she wanted to outdo another person and exalt herself. And she brought shame to herself.
Any time we try to copy another person we should be warned. This is not the way of God. Instead we need to trust God to get us there. Then we will be genuine when we do what is honestly from the feeling in our heart. And our action will be by faith.
There is another thing: Two or three weeks before this, I had brought 3 corrections to Sandra. I had not thought about this at all until yesterday when I was reminded of Cain and Esau.
Before I called Sandra, I talked with Pam, asking her if Sandra ever responded to those 3 corrections ... I couldn't recall a response from Sandra.
Pam said she couldn't recall a response from Sandra either.
When a person fails to respond, it usually means they did not receive the correction.
Sandra confirmed every part of the evil I thought she had done in sending the 7 footballs email.
Then Sandra told me she knew she was going backward ... sliding into her former way.
I had warned her weeks ago about this because God gave me that scripture about the dog returning to it's own vomit ... I warned Sandra not to do that. She ignored my warning.
II Peter 2:20-23 For if after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, they are again entangled therein, and overcome, the latter end is worse with them than the beginning.
For it had been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than, after they have known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered unto them.
But it is happened unto them according to the true proverb, The dog is turned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire.
Then Sandra said after my 3 corrections, she became silent because, "She couldn't take it anymore." She said I was always "beating" her.
I replied, "If you do well there will be no need for correction. But for 38- years you have made same error and failed to correct yourself. If you know what to do and fail to do it, you will be "beaten" with many stripes."
Sandra confirmed every part of the evil I thought she had done in sending the 7 footballs email.
Then Sandra told me she knew she was going backward ... sliding into her former way.
I had warned her weeks ago about this because God gave me that scripture about the dog returning to it's own vomit ... I warned Sandra not to do that. She ignored my warning.
II Peter 2:20-23 For if after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, they are again entangled therein, and overcome, the latter end is worse with them than the beginning.
For it had been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than, after they have known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered unto them.
But it is happened unto them according to the true proverb, The dog is turned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire.
*****
Then Sandra said after my 3 corrections, she became silent because, "She couldn't take it anymore." She said I was always "beating" her.
I replied, "If you do well there will be no need for correction. But for 38- years you have made same error and failed to correct yourself. If you know what to do and fail to do it, you will be "beaten" with many stripes."
Luke 12:47-48 And that servant, which knew his lord's will, and prepared not himself, neither did according to his will, shall be beaten with many stripes.
But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes.
But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes.
*****
Sandra tried to accuse me of doing wrong ... She said I am much "harsher" with her than with others among us.
I replied: "Tell me what Betty Lowmiller is doing right now..." Sandra was speechless.
Then I said: "Tell me what Betsy is doing right now..."
Sandra acts as if she knows everything I have said to others and have done to others. She judges me wrong in being so "harsh" to her while I'm not harsh to others.
I then said, "You think you know everything I've said to others and how I said it to them."
At one point she said I didn't correct Juliett. (a member of our own church group)
Just that day, Juliett wrote thanking me for the correction I had given and we printed on blog with my corrections.
Sandra said I didn't make corrections on that email. But I did. Then Sandra seemed to remember that I did.
Pam Padgett said she wrote to me in early 80's. Pam said I sent her 3 pages of corrections, marked with lots of red ink!
*****
At this point in time, Sandra hears devil speaking telling her things. (This happens to each of us.)
The problem is Sandra follows thoughts devil brings to her mind and believes what devil says.
Of course if we do this, we will go downhill.
*****
Sandra had about 3 weeks in January where she was on target.
Pam and I rejoiced over this.
Then all of a sudden she began to go backward and was returning to her old ways of her wisdom, failing to seek God's wisdom. Eating and drinking the word of God to her own "damnation", growing weak and sickly again.
I Corinthians 11:27-31 (The Lord's supper is not eating and drinking crackers and grape juice ... The Lord's supper is eating and drinking the Word of God)
I Corinthians 11:27-31 (The Lord's supper is not eating and drinking crackers and grape juice ... The Lord's supper is eating and drinking the Word of God)
Wherefore whosoever shall eat this bread, and drink this cup of the Lord, unworthily, shall be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord.
But let a man examine himself (by the Word of God), and so let him eat of that bread, and drink of that cup.
For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord's body.
For this cause many are weak and sickly among you, and many sleep (die).
For if we would judge ourselves (by the Word from God), we should not be judged.
Sandra despised the 3 corrections and the warnings I sent when I saw her begin to slide down, and said yesterday she just couldn't take it and began to accuse me for handling the matter wrongly.
When I warned her, I also gave her Proverbs 1:22-33 ...
How long, ye simple ones, will ye love simplicity? and the scorners delight in their scorning, and fools hate knowledge?
God says:
Turn you at MY reproof: behold, I will pour out MY spirit unto you, I will make known MY words unto you.
Because I have called, and ye refused; I have stretched out my hand, and no man regarded;
But ye have set at nought all MY counsel, and would none of MY reproof:
I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh;
When your fear cometh as desolation, and your destruction cometh as a whirlwind; when distress and anguish cometh upon you.
Then shall they call upon ME, but I will not answer; they shall seek ME early, but they shall not find ME:
For that they hated knowledge, and did not choose the fear of the LORD:
They would none of MY counsel: they despised all MY reproof.
Therefore shall they eat of the fruit of their own way, and be filled with their own devices.
For the turning away of the simple shall slay them, and the prosperity of fools shall destroy them.
But whoso hearkeneth unto ME shall dwell safely, and shall be quiet from fear of evil.
But ye have set at nought all MY counsel, and would none of MY reproof:
I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh;
When your fear cometh as desolation, and your destruction cometh as a whirlwind; when distress and anguish cometh upon you.
Then shall they call upon ME, but I will not answer; they shall seek ME early, but they shall not find ME:
For that they hated knowledge, and did not choose the fear of the LORD:
They would none of MY counsel: they despised all MY reproof.
Therefore shall they eat of the fruit of their own way, and be filled with their own devices.
For the turning away of the simple shall slay them, and the prosperity of fools shall destroy them.
But whoso hearkeneth unto ME shall dwell safely, and shall be quiet from fear of evil.
*****
Amazingly Barbara did a similar thing last year. I corrected her as we spoke by phone and as I heard what Barbara was saying.
Then after I gave the correction Barbara said: "Trouble happens when we speak by phone. I don't think we should speak any more by phone."
I left her alone for about 6 months although I was grieved and I told God I knew she had chosen to go wrong direction.
People often want to avoid me because they are walking in a way that is not good and they know I might see the way they are walking.
A teacher at the church I once attended did this. One of the women at the church in 1980, told him it looked like I would be the perfect wife for him.
He replied he'd be afraid I might see him do something wrong.
He avoided me. And he ended up marrying divorced woman and they divorced in about 6 months.
He was picking up women at bars and committing fornication.
I asked him about these "girlfriends".
At first he tried to evade the subject.
People often want to avoid me because they are walking in a way that is not good and they know I might see the way they are walking.
A teacher at the church I once attended did this. One of the women at the church in 1980, told him it looked like I would be the perfect wife for him.
He replied he'd be afraid I might see him do something wrong.
He avoided me. And he ended up marrying divorced woman and they divorced in about 6 months.
He was picking up women at bars and committing fornication.
I asked him about these "girlfriends".
At first he tried to evade the subject.
Then I asked, "Are you having sex with these women."
He replied, "Of course."
I said, "You know the Bible as well as I do. I cannot have any further fellowship with you."
He replied, "Of course."
I said, "You know the Bible as well as I do. I cannot have any further fellowship with you."
I Corinthians 5:11 I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.
Without any concern at all, he replied, "OK." (He didn't care.)
*****
Concerning Barbara not wanting to talk with me by phone ... I left her alone for several months and just prayed when she came to mind, talking to God about what she said and her action.
One day I wrote her an email and told her if she changed her mind to give me a call.
For two weeks, I heard nothing at all from her.
Then one day she called. We talked by phone as if nothing had ever happened.
Many people in the church choose ways of devils.
Many people despise the chastening of the Lord.
Hebrews 12 ....My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of Him:
Hebrews 12 ....My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of Him:
(God often uses NT prophets to deliver HIS corrections.)
For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom HE receiveth.
If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?
But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.
Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?
For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but HE for our profit, that we might be partakers of HIS holiness.
Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.
Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees; And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed.
Sandra: Keep the scripture in this email before you day and night and do them and I think God will forgive you and heal you.
But you can't do this in a "fluff" way ... It may take you the rest of your life to learn to do these scripture ... You must let these scriptures work through your being by reading them and doing them. If you do that, I think you will be OK.
Please don't send me a message saying you will do them. You've said that for 38-years and still aren't doing them.
Just do them.
If you choose to remain among us, don't worry, we will be able to see if you are actually living these scriptures.
For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom HE receiveth.
If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?
But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.
Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?
For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but HE for our profit, that we might be partakers of HIS holiness.
Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.
Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees; And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed.
*****
Sandra: Keep the scripture in this email before you day and night and do them and I think God will forgive you and heal you.
But you can't do this in a "fluff" way ... It may take you the rest of your life to learn to do these scripture ... You must let these scriptures work through your being by reading them and doing them. If you do that, I think you will be OK.
Please don't send me a message saying you will do them. You've said that for 38-years and still aren't doing them.
Just do them.
If you choose to remain among us, don't worry, we will be able to see if you are actually living these scriptures.
*****
Pam Padgett ... Member of Body of Christ
Reading the counsel Joan gave to Sandra ...
"You must let these scriptures work through your being by reading them and doing them. If you do that, I think you will be OK. "
... reminded me of being helped in a similar way several years ago.
After Chuck (fiancé) and I broke up, I was very shaken by my having gone such a completely wrong way and by the realization of how awful my life would have been had I married him.
I was kind of floundering around, not able to get stabilized. I hadn't mentioned this to anyone, but was probably crying out to God.
Then one evening Joan called me saying she had a scripture she believed to be from God for me ...
Reading the counsel Joan gave to Sandra ...
"You must let these scriptures work through your being by reading them and doing them. If you do that, I think you will be OK. "
... reminded me of being helped in a similar way several years ago.
After Chuck (fiancé) and I broke up, I was very shaken by my having gone such a completely wrong way and by the realization of how awful my life would have been had I married him.
I was kind of floundering around, not able to get stabilized. I hadn't mentioned this to anyone, but was probably crying out to God.
Then one evening Joan called me saying she had a scripture she believed to be from God for me ...
Proverbs 3:5-7 ... Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and HE shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.
As I focused on that scripture and sought to do what we're told in it very diligently for days, then weeks, then months, I got more and more stable and strengthened. And I was able to move forward.
That was the word I needed, just as the scriptures in this email are what Sandra needs to think on and do continually, to get stable and strong.
Makes me so grateful to God that HE provides a way for us.
In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and HE shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.
As I focused on that scripture and sought to do what we're told in it very diligently for days, then weeks, then months, I got more and more stable and strengthened. And I was able to move forward.
That was the word I needed, just as the scriptures in this email are what Sandra needs to think on and do continually, to get stable and strong.
Makes me so grateful to God that HE provides a way for us.
We just need to go in that way.
*****
Hebrews 12:5-11 ... And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children,
My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of HIM:
For whom the Lord loveth HE chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom HE receiveth.
If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?
But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.
Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence:
shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?
For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but HE for our profit, that we might be partakers of HIS holiness.
Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.
(We are "exercised" by the chastening as we allow God to work in our lives by and through that correction. And this yields righteousness in our lives.)
Also I was reminded of what we're told in Genesis 4:7 ...
Pam Padgett ... Member of Body of Christ
Sandra,
Joan told me a little about her phone call with you yesterday and how you think you're being corrected more than other people.
An anger rose up in me as I heard this. At first I thought this was my flesh. But as I've prayed about this, wanting my heart to be right in the matter, I believe this is of God.
And I was reminded of two scriptures ...
Joan told me a little about her phone call with you yesterday and how you think you're being corrected more than other people.
An anger rose up in me as I heard this. At first I thought this was my flesh. But as I've prayed about this, wanting my heart to be right in the matter, I believe this is of God.
And I was reminded of two scriptures ...
Hebrews 12:5-11 ... And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children,
My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of HIM:
For whom the Lord loveth HE chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom HE receiveth.
If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?
But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.
Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence:
shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?
For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but HE for our profit, that we might be partakers of HIS holiness.
Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.
(We are "exercised" by the chastening as we allow God to work in our lives by and through that correction. And this yields righteousness in our lives.)
Also I was reminded of what we're told in Genesis 4:7 ...
If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted?
and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door.
and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door.
*****
The very first communication I had from Joan (1983 or 1984) was a very strong 3-page correction with lots of red markings.
I knew I had to correct my ways and that I couldn't do this in my own wisdom, only by turning strongly to God. Genesis 4:7 was one scripture used by God with me during this time.
I don't know if you can be helped by these things, but as I've prayed about whether to send this to you I've been reminded of having your blood on my hands if I don't share what I believe to be from God.
One other thing ... Last night I asked God to either get you turned (to HIM), or remove you from us.
Pam
I don't know if you can be helped by these things, but as I've prayed about whether to send this to you I've been reminded of having your blood on my hands if I don't share what I believe to be from God.
One other thing ... Last night I asked God to either get you turned (to HIM), or remove you from us.
Pam
*****