BOOK: Exhortations

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Volume 12 ... #20

When mate or parent dies and you are left here

A man in our little church group died.  I believe this man was born again.  I sent the following information to his wife as soon as I learned John had died.

The apostle Paul said, concerning death:

I Thessalonians 4:13  But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep (dead), that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope.  

The fact that we believe the person who died was born again changes everything.  For the Bible tells us that person is simply sleeping now.  And when Jesus returns, that person will wake up and will rise to meet Jesus in the air!

Therefore there is no problem for the person who dies in Christ.

Why spend time mourning for the dead person when there is no problem?  The person who dies in Christ is simply asleep.

Your mourning is for yourself.  It is over your life.  So we turn that around, knowing God will help us when we call on HIM.  And the dead has no problem because he belongs to God and is simply asleep.

We are not told in Bible to wear black for the dead.  That is simply a worldly tradition and not spiritual at all.  Nor do we have to wear black to funeral.  Where in Bible does it tell us to do such things?  Nor do we visit graves and decorate graves with flowers.  This is another worldly pagan tradition.  We are Christian.  We know the truth about death because these scriptures such as Paul wrote tell us the truth as follows:

I Thessalonians 4:14-18  For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with HIM. 

For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent (precede) them which are asleep. 

For the Lord HIMSELF shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: 

Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord. 

Wherefore comfort one another with these words.

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Therefore we focus on the resurrection, not on the death as the world does.

Our hope and assurance is in the resurrection.

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So the Bible truth about death is this: 

When the person who belongs to God dies, he is simply sleeping.  He will awaken when Jesus returns for the church and he will arise to meet Jesus in the air and will be with Jesus forever.

I told this truth to my cousin whose husband just died.  She then said Thurman patted her hand, and then just fell asleep.

That is exactly what death is ... a falling asleep. 

We can relate to that for each night we fall asleep.  When we awake, we sometimes can't believe all those hours passed while we slept.  The apostle Paul has been asleep for 2,000 years.  He will awake when Jesus returns.

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The Christian should not be mourning as this world mourns for we know the Bible truth and our hope is in the resurrection of the dead.

Even if the person who died wasn't visibly a Christian when he died, you really don't know what might have happened the second before he died.  God could have reached him with the truth and he could have been saved even that second.  Keep your hope in God.

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The devil wants to hold us in death and pull us down by giving us destructive thoughts and getting us to dwell on those thoughts which destroy us.

We must take destructive thoughts to God in prayer and allow God to reestablish our thoughts.  

Don't allow yourself to be destroyed!

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Here is a letter from woman in our church group whose husband died:

I wanted to thank you for the two emails you sent me on August 15 and 16th.  I have read them over and over and realized that I have a new life now. 

It was difficult to receive this information at first.  But God kept bringing me back to the truth, old things have passed away and all things will become new.  I am alive and John is dead.

The sorrow that I initially felt has been tempered by the fact that John is no longer helpless or in pain or suffering.

Each day I am being renewed and filled with joy and my flesh settles down for I know God is with me and my new life is beginning.

When I finally came home to my house (after John died), I immediately walked in the door and removed all medical supplies and oxygen from the den where we spent all our time.  I felt better and the room was no longer a reminder of what John suffered.

I went back to work Tuesday and Wednesday of this week.

I am beginning to have peace in my life again.  God is helping me every step of the way.  And it all started with your emails Joan and I thank you so much.

Love,

Linda

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Paul once said, we are not unaware of the wiles of the devil ... and he warned the church to do such and such ...

It is the same with us.

This woman's husband died.  She still works two or three days a week.  But the weekend is coming upon her ... so I warned her.

The devil would try to turn her to depression and pull her down.

John 10:10  Jesus said ... The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy:  I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

The devil will bring thoughts to try to cause you to be sad and pulled down.

When you have the fear concerning how you will fill your time, first turn to God in prayer.  Tell HIM your fear.  Ask God to help you.  HE will.

I awake each morning with nothing to do and no humans to do anything with.  It is frightening to our flesh.  I call out to God:  "Please help me.  Please fill my day."  I pour out my heart to God.  Amazingly, God brings something about to fill my day.  And later when I realized that day is over, I thank God for filling my day.

So I wrote to Linda and warned her as follows:

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Linda:

Most common to have thought:  What am I going to do with the weekend now ... I'll be alone.

The thing to be sure to do is take such thoughts of fear to God and ask HIM to help you.

I face this thought almost daily ... now that the ministry books are written, I awake each morning alone and with the thought but how will I fill my day ... and I pray asking God to help me and HE does.

No one is saying that you forget the memory of John but ... the world mourns ... but for whom ... John is OK we know that ... so when there is a tendency to mourn it would be for yourself ... and God will help you turn mourning into joy.

John's OK ... the memory is often of wanting it to be with the young healthy John ... But remember how he was before he died ... I know you wouldn't want that John back, not for his sake nor for your sake.

Make your mind go to these things and above all, call on God with the thoughts and fears that come ...

Love, Joan

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Paul says he would not have us sorrow as the world sorrows ... they have no hope in death ... We do have hope ... focus on Bible truth as a Christian.

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Letter from Linda:

Yes, those thoughts do come Joan and I am getting very used to recognizing them quickly.  This weekend I am home and watching the changes in the weather with this storm (Hurricane approaching Texas gulf).  I am at home and prepared as much as possible.

My neighbors are very nice and have set up an electric cord to their generator if it is needed.

I asked God to help me as the time goes by and fill my time as He sees fit.

I was doing very well and then the funeral home called and said the death certificates were in.  I paused and God immediately reminded me that John was at rest and sleeping without pain.  I felt so content and joyful, my flesh settled right down.  John is exactly where God wants him and he is free, I have to always remember that.

I thought of how awful it would have been for John to be home during this storm and how worried he would be about oxygen if the electric went out and could not breath.  God has such a wonderful plan for each of us.  Each day is getting better than the last.  Thank you Joan for your help, you have a wonderful way of putting all things in God's perspective.

Love,

Linda

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