Though HE Slay Me, Yet Will I Trust IN HIM …
Job 13:15
In 1980, I was asleep in the night when a trumpet like voice, which I believe to have been the voice of an angel, spoke 3 words into my ear … “Hartford, Seattle, KWJS” …
I jumped out of bed and wrote KWJS down on a note pad. It was obvious to me these letters must be call letters to either radio or television.
They were call letters to a Christian broadcast radio station.
I said to God, “Are you telling me to go on radio? I wouldn’t know how to do that.”
A very gentle voice spoke the following thought into my mind. “Call the radio station manager.”
The Holy Spirit often speaks through thoughts put into the mind of the believer.
As soon as office business hours arrived for the radio station, I called and spoke to the radio station manager. (The radio station KWJS was in the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex.)
I told the station manager it might be that God was telling me to go on radio. I asked the manager “how” you do that.
The manager replied: “Send us an audition tape 29 ½ minutes long and if you fit our broadcasting, we will offer you a contract.”
I asked how much it cost. At that time the cost was $800 per month for 5 days / 30 minutes broadcast.
I recorded an audition broadcast that morning and sent it that day to the radio station manager and was offered a contract and was on radio within a week.
The broadcast was in a good time period, the noon-day hour.
A woman in Fort Worth had been praying for God to put a faith teacher on radio in a vacant noon-day radio spot.
She turned on her radio and one broadcast ended and a woman began speaking. She was very disappointed and shouted, “A woman … NO …” and she headed from her chair to the radio to turn the broadcast off. Before she reached the radio dial, she had become interested in that which was being said on this program. She left the station on, listened to the broadcast and became an immediate listener to my broadcast.
Success was instant.
Within a very short time, I added another city, Houston. Then another, Oklahoma City. Within about 8 months, the program had spread from coast to coast in USA with broadcasts in NYC, Washington DC, Philadelphia, Pittsburg, Detroit, Minneapolis/St. Paul, Denver, Seattle, Eugene Oregon, Bakersfield CA, Phoenix.
I travelled to each city where I was on radio and spoke to the radio audience.
Audiences increased in size.
I wrote two booklets: Taking Thoughts Captive and Healing the Wounded Believer.
Book stores in the Faith Movement churches couldn’t keep these books on the shelf because they sold so fast.
Everything exceeded over all I had ever imagined.
I began to be well known in church circles.
TV talk show ministers had begun to invite me to speak on their television ministries.
I had just finished a one week session on a TV show in Detroit and was heading back to Dallas when I heard the following instruction which I believed to be from the Holy Spirit: “Don’t do any more TV talk shows.”
I had two more TV talk shows scheduled at the time I heard this instruction. “Surely God would want me to fulfill my commitment to those 2 shows in Phoenix & Dallas?” … God didn’t.
I became persuaded that God wanted me to cancel those TV shows … But how to do that? What reason could I give for canceling?
I heard the following word from the Holy Spirit: “Why don’t you just tell them the truth.”
THE TRUTH? I certainly didn’t want to do that!
(But I did.)
I called the Dallas TV station and asked to speak to the TV minister. I called at an hour hoping the minister would not be in the studio. The minister of the show answered the phone call.
I said, “I’m going to have to cancel my appearance on your TV show. God has told me not to do any more TV talk shows.
“Okay.” Said the TV minister. She didn’t really seem to care.
Then I called and cancelled the Phoenix TV show.
I continued in my radio broadcast and was having meetings in the cities where I was on radio.
As I was enroute from meeting in Seattle, the Holy Spirit said to me, “The foundation is laid. Now we are really going to move.” I was certainly excited over this word. I was on radio from coast to coast in big cities in USA. Radio audiences had increased to about 800 per meeting. My two books were selling like “hot-cakes” in the faith movement churches. They could keep them on the shelves because they were selling so fast. And “now we’re really going to move.”
I failed to consider the following: God says, “My ways are not your ways and MY thoughts are not your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9
8 For MY thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways MY ways, saith the Lord.
9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are MY ways higher than your ways,
and MY thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55
I was invited to speak at a small church in Hobbs, NM (USA).
As I flew back from Hobbs to Dallas where I lived at the time, the Holy Spirit began speaking to me. Over and over, HE said:
The time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God …
…The time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God …
…The time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God …
I didn’t know what this meant.
Shortly after hearing this, from the Holy Spirit, God opened my eyes to various sins being committed by big-time ministers …
Even though I was relatively well known in ministry circles at that time, I found I was unable to deliver these messages of warning to the ministers called to my attention.
Big time ministers frequently surround themselves by “body guards” to keep the church people away from them.
One minister, Jim Bakker, responded to a cassette tape which I had sent to him where I warned him about the sin I had been shown by God. I sent a cover letter on my ministry letter head. The name of my ministry is Jesus Ministries. The warning I sent concerned the subject of adultery.
I received a response by letter as follows: (from Jim Bakker)
Dear Jesus:
Thank you for your inspirational message.
Jesus, I want you to know Tammy and I prayed for you today.
Signed: Jim Bakker
It was obviously a standard ministry form letter made to appear to be a personal letter. It was hypocrisy. It was fake, sent out from his office staff in mass to people who wrote to the Bakker ministry.
It wasn’t long after that before the sins of the Bakker ministry became known to all. The US government charged Bakker with fraud and misuse of church funds and he was eventually sentenced to prison.
There were other serious problems with both the Bakkers from drug use causing Tammy Faye to enter the Betty Ford Clinic and sexual charges against Jim Bakker concerning his relations with a church secretary.
Tammy Faye Bakker divorced and remarried and died of cancer.
In Wikipedia (Internet Encyclopedia) the Bakker’s are said to be affiliated with the Assembly of God church group.
The apostle Paul instructed in the Bible …
I Cor. 5 … 1 It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you, and such fornication as is not so much as named among the Gentiles, that one should have his father's wife.
2 And ye are puffed up, and have not rather mourned, that he that hath done this deed might be taken away from among you.
3 For I verily, as absent in body, but present in spirit, have judged already, as though I were present, concerning him that hath so done this deed, 4 In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when ye are gathered together, and my spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ, 5 To deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.
(Notice that Paul did not say to pray for such a person as this … nor did Paul say to counsel such a person … Paul said to turn him over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord.)
I Cor. 5 … Paul says
6 Your glorying is not good. Know ye not that a little leaven leaveneth the whole lump? 7 Purge out therefore the old leaven, that ye may be a new lump, as ye are unleavened. For even Christ our passover is sacrificed for us: 8 Therefore let us keep the feast, not with old leaven, neither with the leaven of malice and wickedness; but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth.
9 I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with fornicators: 10 Yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world.
11 But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.
12 For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within? 13 But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person.
Jimmy Swaggart was another minister I was shown to carry messages of warning to … again, he was unreachable.
He, too, was Assembly of God.
He was later caught with prostitute and gave an extremely tearful statement on national TV saying, “I have sinned …” as he wept bitterly.
I visited a small Assembly of God church at that time and the pastor was saying, “We should pray for Brother Swaggart.”
I said, “You should put Swaggart out of the church as the apostle Paul said to do in I Cor. 5.”
I thought they might stone me at that church group.
Since I could not reach these isolated ministers to deliver messages of God, though I identified myself to them as a prophet sent by God, I spoke on my nationwide radio broadcast about each of the ministers shown me by God. I cited the evil and spoke of the judgment presented in the Bible for such acts in the NT church.
I received much hate mail from individuals who identified themselves as “Christians.”
Jimmy Swaggart owned two of the radio stations where I was speaking: one in Dallas and another in Houston.
They put me off the air.
I continued at the other stations.
At a meeting in Seattle, the radio station manager of the Seattle station was waiting for me outside the meeting room. George said to me, “Joan … I don’t know what is going to happen to you if you continue to speak these judgment messages. You have many good messages. Just speak those messages. If you continue to speak these judgment messages we may have to put you off the air.”
Without any thought whatsoever, the following came out of my mouth in response:
“George … if I don’t speak the message I believe to be from God then I don’t have a message and I may as well be off the air.”
This statement would define my life and the ministry I had been given for the remainder of my life on this earth.
Lk. 21 says instruction that fits the above example.
10 Then said he (Jesus) unto them,
Nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: 11 And great earthquakes shall be in divers places, and famines, and pestilences; and fearful sights and great signs shall there be from heaven.
12 But before all these, they shall lay their hands on you, and persecute you, delivering you up to the synagogues, and into prisons, being brought before kings and rulers for my name's sake.
13 And it shall turn to you for a testimony.
14 Settle it therefore in your hearts, not to meditate before what ye shall answer: 15 For I will give you a mouth and wisdom, which all your adversaries shall not be able to gainsay nor resist.
16 And ye shall be betrayed both by parents, and brethren, and kinsfolks, and friends; and some of you shall they cause to be put to death.
17 And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake.
18 But there shall not an hair of your head perish. 19 In your patience possess ye your souls.
There was a great deal of persecution toward me from church goers at that time. (early 80’s) My best friend withdrew from me. All my own staff left me except for one person. Radio stations began putting me off the air. Hate mail poured in from the radio audiences who had once “loved” me.
I continued speaking what I felt I had been given by God, holding back nothing.
Around 1981, I had a very serious dream. There was an established piece of land. All of a sudden one piece of that land broke off and slid away … then another went … then another … then another. It was terrible to see. Then I heard the following words, “It will be all right through January but in February it will break loose.”
I was very frightened over what was coming. I warned the church on the radio stations which remained.
February came and went and nothing happened.
I was labeled as “a false prophet” and greatly persecuted by the church.
Everything around me grew smaller and smaller as masses of people withdrew from me.
Finally around 1984, I decided to terminate the radio broadcasts.
One station manager, in Pittsburgh, begged me to stay on the air. But I declined. I was devastated.
Peter tells us what to do in cases such as this, but I was too immature to do this instruction, nevertheless God helped me as follows.
One night, I had the following dream: Someone fired a shotgun directly into my chest. I was covered with holes. God sent what I thought to be an angel to help me. The angel rubbed a wonderful, salve into the holes in my body area. It felt so good and I was awakened healed.
Here is what the apostle Peter said to do in such times … I Peter 4 …
12 Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:
13 But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.
14 If ye be reproached for the name of Christ, happy are ye; for the spirit of glory and of God resteth upon you: on their part HE (THE WORD) is evil spoken of, but on your part he is glorified.
15 But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other men's matters. 16 Yet if any man suffer as a Christian, let him not be ashamed; but let him glorify God on this behalf.
17 For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God? 18 And if the righteous scarcely be saved, where shall the ungodly and the sinner appear?
19 Wherefore let them that suffer according to the will of God commit the keeping of their souls to him in well doing, as unto a faithful Creator.
Had I done these instructions, I would not have suffered nearly so much as I did suffer.
A handful of people continued with me from around the United States. I delivered exhortations to them by cassette tape and writings sent by US mail.
Most of those ministers I had tried to warn grew bigger and bigger as I grew smaller and smaller.
It was a very hard time for me. (Partly my own fault because I didn’t understand committing myself to God during the time of persecution. I Peter 4)
I continued through the years, speaking as I felt God led.
Each February, I wondered would the breaking away come “this year”. (When I had the dream of the breaking away, I didn’t hear the year this would happen. I just assumed it would happen that year, February 1982, but it didn’t so I kept looking for it to happen for I knew it was God showing me this breaking away would happen.)
This went on from 1982 through 2015. I held a fearful watch during the month of February.
Last year, 2015, God revealed truth to me. By this time I had become very grateful to God that I was not one of the big-time ministers with all that pressure to pay for radio/TV and all the church meetings required to hold on to “greatness”. I saw I had been delivered, by God, from a terrible burden.
Then God opened my eyes to see: The breaking away I saw in the February vision of l982 was a breaking away of church people from me.
I laughed … for the vision did come to pass in 1982, and I was spared greatness on this earth!
I’m glad I’m not traveling all over the world bodily.
God arranged for me to travel all over the world by telling me in a dream to start a blog: Jesus Ministries Exhortations which we have been sending out from our little church group since March, 2012.
The first day the blog operated, one of our people came and was excited, saying, “We had 2 page views from Germany.” It never even occurred to any of us that the blog went all over the world … the World Wide Web.
Since that time, we have delivered daily exhortations without ceasing.
Hebrews 3 … 13 But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin. 14 For we are made partakers of Christ, if we hold the beginning of our confidence stedfast unto the end; 15 While it is said, To day if ye will hear HIS voice, harden not your hearts, as in the provocation.
Hebrews 10 … 23 Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for HE is faithful that promised;) 24 And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: 25 Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another:and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.
I Cor. 15 … 58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.
It costs us nothing to operate the blog. There is no pressure at all to pay for the “ministry.” There is no physical pressure from traveling all over. I just sit at home and type these messages daily on Internet and they go out instantly all over the world.
I consider I am blessed above all on this present earth.
Now in the end of my life on this earth, I get to write these books telling of what God has done and my life in Christ so that others called by God can be exhorted in the ways of God.
At the time I started on radio, I lived in Dallas and was attending Word of Faith, Robert Tilton’s church. Bob came to me and told me I needed to get with Michael Ellison Advertising Agency, that they could “do me a lot of good.”
Many of the big-time ministers were clients of this advertising agency: At that time, Kenneth Copeland, Marilyn Hickey, Robert Tilton … Swaggart had been a client … This agency did many things to promote the ministers.
It was like Hollywood! But in ministry …
The agent told me they would contact pastors in the cities before I had meetings and seek the support of those pastors and ask them to get their church members to attend my meeting. Then someone from the agency would go into the city about a week before my meeting and do more promotion in the churches to get attendance. (The agency never did this for me for they threw me out before it got to that point.) The agent said the only thing I had to do is be sure not to say anything offensive to any of the people in the city!
That, of course, was impossible!
Jesus said … 22 Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man's sake. 23 Rejoice ye in that day, and leap for joy: for, behold, your reward is great in heaven: for in the like manner did their fathers unto the prophets.
24 But woe unto you that are rich! for ye have received your consolation.
25 Woe unto you that are full! for ye shall hunger.
Woe unto you that laugh now! for ye shall mourn and weep.
26 Woe unto you, when all men shall speak well of you! for so did their fathers to the false prophets. (Luke 6)
I was only with the agency about 3 or 4 months before they came to me and said they had decided to eliminate some of their clients and “unfortunately”, they said, I was one they had to remove from their client list.
I was devastated. I thought I had failed.
Then God gave me the following scripture to show me what had happened.
Mt. 4 …8 Again, the devil taketh him up into an exceeding high mountain, and sheweth him all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them; 9 And saith unto him, All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me.
10 Then saith Jesus unto him, Get thee hence, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve.
God had set it up so I could not obey the agency … God had given me several instructions and the agency came wanting me to do the exact opposite to that which God had taught me.
Of course, the agency had to get rid of me because I wouldn’t obey them. Of course the agency could get hundreds and even thousands to attend my meetings if I would do what they said … and never offend anyone.
All I would have to do is stop speaking offensive scriptures such as, Mt. 5:32 … Jesus said … 32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
I would never be able to speak of judgment nor of the scriptures concerning homosexuals/lesbians.
Romans 1 … 18 For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness;
19 Because that which may be known of God is manifest in them; for God hath shewed it unto them.
20 For the invisible things of HIM from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even HIS eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse:
21 Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. 22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, 23 And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things.
24 Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves: 25 Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen.
26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: 27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.
Recently the Catholic pope announced that he didn’t see anything against homosexuals.
I cried out … “What about the Bible?”
Before the ad agency eliminated me, the agent assigned to me came to Dallas to meet with me. One of my best friends from the ministry joined us in the meeting in my apartment.
The agent said to me … “Joan … just one thing … We want you to print on each of your envelopes, ‘SEND ME YOUR PRAYER REQUESTS.’
I SHOCKED both the agent and my friend by saying strongly … “I don’t want to do that.“
The agent said, “YOU don’t?”
“NO,” I replied. “They should pray directly to God themselves, through Jesus Christ, not through me! I don’t want them sending their prayer request to me.”
After a few moments of silence, the agent responded, “You’re missing a good bet … When they send their prayer requests, they will usually put some money into the envelop."
I didn’t do this, ever.
Then at one point, the agency told me I could not send anything to anyone in writing without first sending the written material to them to edit.
Of course, I refused.
After that, the agency eliminated me.
I was devastated, thinking I had failed. I knew I was enroute to being one of the big time ministers. I knew this agency could promote me to big-time as they had promoted their other clients to big-time. I had failed. So I thought.
After God showed me Mt. 4, I realized what had happened to me is the same things described in this passage.
Mt. 4 … 8 Again, the devil taketh HIM (Jesus) up into an exceeding high mountain, and sheweth HIM all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them;
9 And saith unto HIM, All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me.
10 Then saith Jesus unto him, Get thee hence, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and HIM only shalt thou serve.
I saw the truth about the years of trial. I had been tested. I had not failed. I continued in faith toward God and toward HIS support of me in very difficult times. I did not forsake the Word of God nor that which God has shown me even though HIS Word cost me everything in this present world.
At one time Marilyn Hickey (who was a client of Ellison) said to me, “Joan … please pray that Michael Ellison will approve my going on TV.” (Michael Ellison, not God)
After I was removed by Ellison, Billy Graham’s ad agency came to see about signing me as their client.
The agent said to me: “Joan … You don’t realize it but you are a gold mine! You have an earned doctorate … We can market you to all kinds of big industries to do meetings for women.”
There was just one problem with this plan … God had told me, when HE put me in the ministry, not to present myself to women’s groups. I was to speak to everyone. I carried HIS Word. I was never to limit myself to women … the Word of God, the messages of God were for all … male and female.
It was very hard for several years. I didn’t know I Peter 4 at the time of the persecution and the loss. I suffered much more than I needed because of my ignorance of this scripture. But God did not forsake me and I never knowingly compromised the scripture though I ended up losing everything … reputation, fame, money, glory of man … and our flesh very much wants all this!
Now, like the prophet Job, I find my latter years are better than the former. (Job. 42)
I have no debt. I have no need. I have no want. Avenues are open to me to share the Word given me by God through the entire world at no cost to me nor to the ministry. And I don’t even have to leave my house to share these exhortations of God all over the world. A way is made for me to do the word of God, exhorting one another daily … all over the world through our blog, and now by these books.
The apostle Paul said …
II Cor. 4 … 7 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.
8 We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 9 Persecuted, but not forsaken (by God); cast down, but not destroyed;
10 Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.
11 For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus' sake (for The Word’s sake), that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh.
These books are available in Kindle version and paperback from Amazon.com
Type Joan Boney in the Amazon search box to purchase these books
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(Also available in paperback)